What do you call a secret agent molecule? BondвЂ¦ ionic bond. How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks! My friend told me, вЂњPeople who sell meat are disgusting!вЂќ So I said, вЂњYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!вЂќ When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent! How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator! Help, I canвЂ™t stop reading books with female protagonists! IвЂ™m a heroine addict! What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large! What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller! What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck! Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donвЂ™t wanna wake the sleeping pills. Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division. Why canвЂ™t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything! I called the animal shelter today and said 'I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods.' They said 'Are they moving?' I replied 'I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase.' What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

WhatвЂ™s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron. Noble Gasses donвЂ™t cause reactions, after all. When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said вЂњNo, doc, itвЂ™s dis knee.вЂќ I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. Have you heard of that new movie, вЂњConstipationвЂќ? Well it doesnвЂ™t matter, it never came out. I heard a scary math joke, but IвЂ™m 2^^2 to tell it! What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

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